Thursday, March 28, 2013

Holy Geez! + Ab-tastic Workout

Holy Mother of Paincakes my legs are DYING from that workout I posted yesterday.  I mean Geesh! That workout did its job and I am feeling the hellacious pain of muscle gain. Yowza.

Question for you guys: I am a mom, does anyone else make up rediculous "non-cussing" cuss words, for the sake of your child's innocent ears, that make you sound like a crazy fool?  It's actually fantastic and gives me a chance to be creative on the fly. Because, lets face it, I am initially going for the full blown f bomb or sh!# or s.o.b. But then at the last second this comes out:

Fruity Biscuit
Holy Shipstick
Mother....of pearl
Truck at a truckin truck stop
Bull Butter
Son of Biscuit
CUSS WORDS!! (Yes I actually yell "Cuss Words!" at the top of my lungs. Like when I step on a lego.)
Mother Trucker

Then there's "I need to have a talk with your dad." which I say very angrily while pulling my husband into our room and is code for a trip to funky town.
Side note: We don't have a lock on our bedroom door....yah.  So that's why we have to make him think that there is a disagreement or something going on because he will avoid us like the plague if he thinks we might be talking about anything confrontational. Then we walk out of the room 10 minutes later, disheveled and blissfully happy.  He may have a very "trucked up" idea of what happens when couples fight....

So that's the story of my feeble attempts to keep Bud's innocence intact.

I love the sound of unconscious children.
Because that's the only time I can talk without a filter....

As a reward for the funky town reference earlier, I've got an ab workout for you today.
(I am going to walk 10 minutes and run 15 minutes before this workout to get me warmed up.)

Do this workout 1-3 times through depending on your level of fitness

Plank - 30 seconds
Side Plank Hip Taps - 20 each side
Jack Knife Situps - 10
Bird Dogs (from plank position) - 20
Dive Bombers - 10
Russian Twists - 20
Mountain Climbers - 30
Spiderman Plank - 20

BAM! Flat-tastic abs. You. Are. Welcome.
As always not certified in anything just sharing my workouts. Consult a physician before you start a new workout regime.

Also just for pictures sake.  Here is me when I have to come in to work before 6:00am. Happy....but tired and disheveled......a touch of dirty transient is happening here... and a big blemish on the forehead. Lovely.

Please share your hilarious non-cuss words with me in the comments section! Let's sound like idiots together.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

So yah...

Yes I have been MIA for a bit.  Life happened. It wasn't pretty.

Moving on... This morning all I have had is a breakfast that consisted of coffee and coffee. So healthy, I know. This morning I was rushing because my lazy butt stayed in bed till 6:50 and I was forced to rush like a mad woman to get out of the door by 7:30. I barely remembered to put pants on let alone grab a banana ... and that's epic saga of how breakfast was forgotten.

Had a great workout last night.  It really kicked my butt so I thought I would share that with you guys.  Wouldn't want to deny you the chance at jelly legs.  They're funtastic! As always, keep in mind that I am not a personal trainer or certified in any way to tell you waht you should do with you body.  So its always a good idea to consult a physician before you start a new fitness regime. I'm just sharing what I do. Do with it what you will.

Total Body Workout:

High Knees - 1 minute
Squat Jumps - 15 to 20
Mountain Climbers - 15 to 20
Froggers - 15 to 20
Lunge Kicks - 15 to 20
Pike Plank - 1 minute
Scissor Abs - 15 to 20
Squat-Lift-Twists - 15 to 20
Jumping Jacks - 1 minute

For this workout, depending on your level of fitness, you can do it 1 to 5 times with a 30-60 second break in between each full workout.  The entire workout should take about 15 minutes to complete.  Also if you are just starting out it might be good to only do 10 reps of each exercise and build up to 15 and 20.

This was a killer workout.  It really got my blood pumping and sweat pouring!
Enjoy your jelly legs.

P.S. After this workout I made some tacos al pasado (spicy pork tacos) for me and Mister.  I have come to the conclusion that I may workout just so I can eat delicious things without being a total heifer....

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